Day 11 – Sunday April 1st, 2012

Where to begin. This morning was particularly scary and started very early. Around 2am I woke up with sharp pains in my stomach. I thought I had to “go”, but when I sat down on the throne nothing happened. The pains in my abdomen were getting worse by the minute, and all I could do was lay on the bathroom tile in the fetal position.  Brooke, being 8+ months pregnant, was not much help. She asked if she should call 9-1-1, and I told her I didn’t need that. What happened next is kind of gross, so you may want to stop reading here.

The pains went down into my legs and were excruciating. I felt like I was going to have a diarrhea explosion, my feet and legs were aching, and now an incredible headache emerged to top things off. The last thing I remember was seeing the massive pool of blood on the floor when I turned around trying to get comfortable. It was everywhere, and must have been pouring out of me from behind because I had no idea where I was bleeding from. I reached into my shorts and felt around, and when I looked at my hand it was deep red with blood.  The bathroom door was closed so Brooke hadn’t seen anything yet, and I instantly thought about it being very  important to not let her see, because a sight like this would have sent her into the delivery room immediately.

When I came to, I was in a hospital bed with an IV tube running into my butt. I was alone in the room, but on the small table next to me there was a greeting card in a tan envelope propped up against a vase of flowers. How long had I been out? This was the first question I needed answered. I grabbed the card and opened it up, and inside there was a note reading: APRIL FOOLS!

Did I get anyone? Of course, I am joking.  Advocare does not really make you bleed from the anus or send you to the ER. I don’t really have the time/energy to pull any April Fools jokes as this was a long and stressful week. This is the best I can do this year. Tomorrow it’s back to school and the daily grind. I think it will actually be easier because I’ll be even busier with work added into the daily mix.

Day 11 marks the start of the next phase of the 24 day challenge, and I get to open the purple boxes now. I was to make a Spark first today, and take the first of four packets of capsules that are part of the MNS packet. Each strip of packets comes in a grouping of four, resembling a strip of condoms. The MNS packets are basically vitamins, nutrients, and dietary supplements.

“This isn’t me. This is what the little strip of packets looks like though. I don’t know her either.”

“I’m gonna get very familiar with these…”

After 30 minutes I am supposed to have a meal replacement shake, that also mixes with water. I’m really not going to eat any food mid-morning during this phase (as least as I read things right now; I’m careful not to look too far ahead or I will get confused.

“I’ll let you know how this tastes around lunchtime when I update.”

I’m supposed to drink this at breakfast, and also take the 2nd packet of MNS supplements. I ordered chocolate as well, but I think the meal replacements shakes come in vanilla and berry too. Who would choose vanilla or berry when you could have chocolate? I suppose there are weirdos everywhere. Time to get to work.

Edit: OK, I’m drinking the shake now, and it’s really good. These will be no problem to have everyday for the next two weeks. It is pretty thick though as there is a lot of powder to dissolve. Just like with Spark, I ended up using a lot more water than the 9oz. the instructions say to use.

I forgot to add, last night Brooke and I got on the subject of pizza. She mentioned she was craving it and that was all it took for temptation to set in. I started rationalizing about it being OK to “cheat” just once on the diet. I imagined only getting an individual sized pizza and eating it for lunch and dinner as to spread out my cheatery. In the end, I decided to give it a rest for the duration of the challenge. I want to see what the product will do when I follow the instructions and eat properly.  I tell you what though, I hope I am celebrating a monster negative number at the end of this so I CAN have something to celebrate.

Edit: At mid morning I had three more hard boiled eggs. You’d think I’d be sick of them by now, but its funny, when I start making them I have no desire to eat them. As I peel them I start to actually feel sick with the thought of eating them. As I eat them, I love them again and I scarf them up. I like them best when they are still a little warm, with a dash of salt. Not really hungry at all, before or after the eggs, so we’ll see how it goes with lunch. I am supposed to take the 3rd packet of supplements from the MNS box thirty minutes before lunch. Will update again later. Time to paint Brooke’s toenails and finish the laundry.

“I would love to get a midge…. er, “little person” to live in my cabinets. It would suck to lose the cabinet space, but it’d be worth it if I could train him to do the laundry.”

Final edit for day 11: For dinner I made tilapia dusted with garlic powder, salt, pepper and fiery spice mix. On the side we had instant potatoes and roasted brussel sprouts. This afternoon I had a major craving for something, anything with flavor and carbs and meat and cheese. The first thing I got stuck in my brain was Tacos El Norte. I imagined chips and salsa for an appetizer as I waited for my cheese enchiladas with mole sauce, rice, and beans. Then it was pizza, then I started thinking about Chinese food. It was brutal, and by far my worst hunger pains I’ve had since I started this challenge. I seriously was inches away from breaking down and going out to pick something up. I ended up taking a short nap, and when I woke up I hurried up and began making dinner. Maybe I was just overtired or something, because I was STARVING when I was having the cravings.  When this is over, I am gonna have to fight really hard to not do some serious damage. Hopefully the results will be worth it, and inspire me to push forward. Tomorrow its back to work, and days will start to fly by again. Pretty soon Easter will be here, and I need to think of some “healthier” options to serve.